E-Portfolio: Camp Writing

Describe It - Camp Experiences

Learning Objectives:

Level 3

• Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Level 4.

• Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Learning goals:

• To ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ the reader by painting a picture with words.
• A variety of sentence starters
• A variety of sentence lengths
• Edit and rework
• Effective peer checking and feedback

Climbing up the old oak tree ready for a big jump finally I get to the top.Below me is a green murky pool of water suddenly I freeze up and turn around the soaking wet kids wait impatiently for me to jump. Quickly I realise there's no backing out now and there's only one way down.


Thinking to myself I needed to jump and it needed to be done now. Gathering all my courage and counting in my head 3,2,1 falling down into green murky water splash! Swimming over to shore all I could hear was my friends asking me is it fun.


Slowly climbing out of the water ready for another jump , walking back to the tree hearing kids
screaming as they jump off the tree.

Student Reflection: In my writing, one of my goals is to use speech marks. I did not show this goal here because I didn't really have a place in this type of writing In my writing, one of my goals is to spell most multi syllable words correctly. I did show this goal here because most of the words I spelt in my draft were correct. My next step is to use speech marks in more of my pieces of writing so I can get more goals ticked off. Teacher Comment: Jackson, I really like the way you have hooked me in as I read this.  Your opening paragraph is engaging and the language helps paint a picture in the readers mind.  Your next step is to look at each of your sentences separately and reflect on if they have all the information needed.  You can do this by reading one sentence at a time aloud and asking, does it makes sense?  Are there any words missing? - Mrs Hunter